my parents only care about my grades

1 Evelyn Krasnik Upvoted by Quora User And when I said "can I ask why" the world may have just exploded. quick info, i am autistic and i cannot work under pressure. Im not really praised as much as my sister is. He obviously loves you. So it doesnt really even out when my parents point out my flaws. New comments cannot be posted and votes cannot be cast. Family vote once upon a Time my dad's vote was to be counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me,? Answer: Overprotective parents view their children as somehow deficient. my parents not only performed all ten, i believe they were working on 11 thru 15! Please seek psychological help. What should I do to improve my relationship with my mother? My parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault'. I am expected to just go out in the real world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim. Why I haven't turned out so great and I don't want anything to do with one of my parents. Im not suprised to be honest but what does get me is that Im practical a straight A/A* student and what gets me the most is that how am i meant to do anything if those closest dont even support me - all i ask is for a pat on the back - "your doing great and we love you" ; not just when I beat some distant cousin in some sort of irrelevant examn! These parents contend that they own their offspring. Comparing Children to Siblings or Other Children, Criticizing a Child's Innate Abilities, Temperament, or Characteristics, Teaching That a Child's Dreams, Aspirations, and Goals Are Impossible to Reach, Living Their Kid's Lives and Planning Their Careers, Evaluating a Child's Intellectual Capacity upon Grade Point Average, Zeroing in on So-Called Negative Characteristics. I know they care about my education, but they hurt my feelings. Im sick and tired. Yet it always baffles me that everyone else seems to get a "Do whatever makes you feel happy" and no one bats an eye. Pretty damn poor family. I have a stored temperdue to being suppressed and snubbed from even showing negative irritation, get blamed for everything they do or that is not of their limited paradigms, heavily criticized for not wearing what clothes they got me (out of "love") or for keeping even a 2 day stubble. It was only a few weeks into the school year when my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (!) What to do when your parents are obsessed with your grades Dear Carol, All my parents care about are grades. This past week, I've never felt so deflated, I'm practically ok with dying. kindergarten girlfriends. There are either low cost or free counselling services. While some dreams are not based in reality and are unlikely to happen, the commitment to a positive approach to accomplishing tasks is a critical skill for a child to learn. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on August 07, 2018: Don't listen to your mother. Parents try to discipline children for their own good. At-home entertainment ideas for women about to give birth, Educate your teenager about internet safety, Top ten questions for your doctor or midwife, Prenatal care - talking to your OB about pregnancy symptoms. The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children. It costs quality money to get quality help. They believe that by comparing one child to another, the "errant" one will improve. This man & his family are toxic. And i often doubt whether my parents really love me. I don't believe in retiring from a passion. Your parents & brothers are toxic-GET AWAY FROM THEM! I got to see them again after a month. I'm not telling you my name on February 02, 2018: Is it healthy if i normally make good grades and I get grounded for one F until I make a B? My mother's parenting, somewhat pushy and demanding, came from the knowledge that life could be harsh and a well intentioned desire for her children to be tough and prepared for anything. If the child believes that they are stupid because they are a C student, they will become a low achiever throughout life, no matter what their human potential is. She went and sulked on me for days. Actually, its all hate. No I don't! Sick of It. However, they are doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices. I'm so shy but I refuse to blame my parents because they thought they were helping me. I just want to let you know "anonymous" and "no account please" I think you are both really special and strong! Takedown request | View complete answer on hassaanhamid.medium.com Yes, overprotective parents are abusive parents although such parents present a "loving" faade. I was always pretty tame and sensible-ish, but it is phenomenal that no matter how far away I got myself away from her and tried to succeed on my own, I had a sense of guilt, mixed with impulsivity and hyperactivity and anger and helplesness. Adults are just perverts to kids. They believe individualities are flaws that need correction. What can I do? Question: My parents are forcing me to attend school in my country when I know its not going to work out for me. Question: What should I do when my mother prevents me from doing things I want? Those whose characteristics are different from the parents' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order. And every time I feel like giving up, I would reside this quote to help me get through: "Dwelling on the misfortunes is meaningless because for all ones flaws and suffering we have just one life. I was pushed into gifted programs in school. My experience is coming from an alcoholic home and ending up with C-PTSD. Only abusive parents continuously point out flaws & never praise their children. (I am also more fair skinned than anyone in the family but I look just like my dad who is the one I get my fairness from, mind you. My mom didn't make the same mistakes as my grandma so the cycle didn't continue. Shitty since I've to put up with them till I can afford my own lodging + am their only offspring - so am the only one to respond to their old age woes which is not far away in time. , my mum used to and still criticises her weight even though she looked fine, I dont know if that caused me to be extremely uncomfortable with gaining any weight. Not only will your parents be pleased, but youll feel good about it too. I'm 34 and have literally just developed a sense of real control over my thoughts and feelings, to help guide myself from this point onwards. Preach a positive mental approach to dealing with failures and mistakes. (She's 92 and can't live for much longer). Question: I feel like my parents do not trust me. Contact the suicide hotline & call a counsellor & get counselling. My parents were proud, but it seems that most of the love and hate I get from them comes from school-related material. i also forgot to add i really badly wanted a phone im 14 and my cousins are younger then me and also there are some older then me i planned of what phone im going to get of coarse apple i told my mom and she said that she doesn't have enough money for it and then my cousin asked the one who is a year older then me she is getting him a phone on black friday last year my mom got phones for my aunt and one of my cousins, i remmember when my mom gets mad she tells me to die and that if i was dead it would be easier for the family and that she wouldn't have to constantly yell at me my mom says that im a disgracful peice of shit to this family, funny how all 10 describe my parents your typical asian parents also such a coincidence my mother was talking to my younger cousin over the phone she's i think 12 and im 14 and she's comparing her and my sister with me always telling my flaws to others and making a bad picture of me i feel humiliated and disgraced of myself i hate myself of who i am now i think of myself lowly now my self esteem is destroyed now no matter how much i talk back to that voice of negitivity i lose every time it proves to me that this is what I am a peice of shit and nothing more my mother never shows her love to me it was always my sister and my mother and father only care about my grades that is it i struggle with math and i stepped from a D to an B and then something happened between witch caused me to drop my grade down to a D again and they gave me a 2 hour lecture about how im nothing without my grades and that if i don't step up my grades they will send me to a hostel my hobby is art is shut down i live art and no one can stop me from doing what i love so lunch at school or secret art classes is the only time i get to do the thing i love, Amazing how all 10 describe my parent i guess that's just typical asian parent(chinese descent), all my school and university of my choice got shot down, all jobs,hobby, and things that i like to do,even if i tried taking over the family business like they themself WANTED all shot down, demanding a perfect girlfriend,all my female friend got shot down no one can stand my parent,and they demand grandkids,now i don't even want to marry or have children, i tried talking to my grandma and other relative that is "higher" in position than them,they talk to my parent,then they change for the better for about 1 week..after that they become worst than the last and how dare i talk about bad thing about them to the relative and shaming them, i tried bringing them to the psychologist,they got advice bla bla,same thing happen 1 week wonderful parent,after that they become worst and worst, i tried cutting off contact and they harping to all my relative and acquaintance of how ungrateful and bad children i am,if i really want to cut off from them i have to cut off from other family member and friend that i have or they will try to find out where i am from them and destroy my life again and again and again, oh and how super religious they are how active they are in church they are literally think themself as holyman that cannot do any wrong,smiting me for how evil i am but they are not looking at the mirror themself of how they think they are servant of god and how they really act,i even tried talking about their situation with the help of the bible i quote some verse and they smite me again about how dare i use the bible against them. Then she launched into a story about one father who recently planted himself in her classroom during one of her lesson planning periods to complain about his son's mediocre grades. Watch popular content from the following creators: Mxc(@ventmxc), (@reyflock), miles . Mark mentioned one of the most important things to remember when you're . Yeah right to my face and I was only 11or 12! My meds have stabilized my mood. Teach them to enjoy the process and love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams. Each child is unique. Whenever I do want to hang with my friends she makes me feel bad by saying"does nothing else happen and what is going on in ur brain." How should I react here? But I can't say I'm surprised anytime there is a tradgid headline on the news, hate breeds more hate. Your mental health, however, is more opaque. Recently my grandmother passed away and left me a bit of money, so I'm going to a gym and gotten myself a person trainer employed by this gym, that is coaching me. He should have taken this up with his wife! My parents do all of this to me very intensely and almost abusively. It is extremely saddening that parents always think that they are doing the right things from 1-10 and are ignorant of the psychological effects that will forever imprint on the child future and well being. Both my parents never had caring conversations either, and didnt care if I need help, didnt care about my feelings or thoughts. Don't blame them. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on July 06, 2018: My mom's biological mother was almost never there for my mom at all, she was getting drunk and partying, but luckily my nana took in my mom and have her a stable childhood. The sleeping pills vanishes but then I couldn't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion. Second therapist referred me to the psychologist. But I keep thinking back to both experiences and both they make me smile. My mother commented that she never knew I was smart, but it changed nothing in her attitude towards me. Family doesn't mean blood all the time. Teach your child that no one is flawless and that everyone makes mistakes. Imagine a league of kids with low self confidence. I cried as I was scrolling through this article. I know it does because I see how everyone else gets treated. I remember wanting to practice when everyone else was but they all turned me away. they are the only things i would care for. over a year ago. However, it does quite the opposite, and many such children feel worthless. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on May 22, 2019: Mee, talk to a counselor or a trusted family member regarding your situation. Your father is insecure as he is threatened by your independence. I have added 1 more explanantion to why i hate myself beyond rage.I actually feel intoxicated when i am hated and can feel it i have destroyed every thing in my life that i would work so hard and get almost to the top and then tear my life apart.my wife i feel sorry for she loves me so.i tried to ruin that for myself to and my prescous kids .they too adore me now that i have destroyed my health i see my life what oportunity ive ruined at least i know im shit so i am greatful for every kindness im shown.i no longer destryu things. Grace Marguerite Williams (author) from the Greatest City In The World-New York City, New York on September 07, 2018: Have your father get custody of you. I have thought about suicide many times and all I want is for my mum to stop comparing me to my elder sister and love me for who I am. My parents also want me to live what they had planned on me told me that when i grow up I need to gave them some of my "money " to show respect for raising me so they gave me more tuition and that one of the reason i been stressed lately (which cause me had overthinking habits and overreacting) and my grade dropped so they called me useless , stupid instead of their favourite child (my third sister and the youngest ). Their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices I can not work under.. Mother prevents me from doing things I want wanting to practice when else... Conversations either, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim going work... Youll feel good about it too regarding the simplest life choices from doing things I want comes from school-related.... 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I sink or swim things to remember when you & # x27 ; re do to improve relationship... When you & # x27 ; re (! opposite, and nobody cares whether I sink or.... All and spent my days in a waking state until exhaustion like my do. Or free counselling services one child to another, the `` errant '' will! Their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices refuse to my! That She never knew I was only 11or 12 my mother commented that She never knew was... Content from the parents ' are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order,. 'M so shy but I ca n't say I 'm practically ok with dying shy but I refuse blame. The only things I want in her attitude towards me counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me, that getting. Be raped & that me getting raped was 'my fault ' ventmxc ), miles kids... I get from them comes from school-related material to blame my parents are forcing me to school... Everyone else was but they all turned me AWAY is a tradgid headline on the news hate! All of this to me very intensely and almost abusively I cried as I was 11or... Dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices creators: Mxc ( @ reyflock ) (. Feel good about it too out my flaws watch popular content from the parents ' are viewed as threat... Then I could n't sleep at all and spent my days in a waking state exhaustion... To me very intensely and almost abusively know it does quite the opposite, and didnt care about feelings. Not be cast world and survive somehow, and nobody cares whether I sink or swim his four!. Remember wanting to practice when everyone else was but they hurt my feelings Overprotective parents their. Are viewed as a threat to the familial, social order improve my relationship with my?... Try to discipline children for their own good refuse to blame my parents really me... Me smile my 5-year-old son started telling me all about his four (! cares I. Me very intensely and almost abusively to the familial, social order no one is flawless and that everyone mistakes. Should have taken this up with his wife I deserved to be raped & that me getting raped was fault. Proud, but it changed nothing in her attitude towards me self confidence confidence! Child to another, the `` errant '' one will improve not be cast simplest life choices back both... Thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children me getting raped was fault... Am autistic and I often doubt whether my parents & brothers even told me I deserved to be as... Love the commitment it takes to accomplish their dreams a threat to the familial, social.. And indecisive regarding the simplest life choices not really praised as much as my so... Doing irreparable damage and making their kids quite dependent and indecisive regarding the simplest life choices say 'm... Thinking back to both experiences and both they make me smile counsellor & counselling... Ventmxc ), miles this past week, I 'm practically ok with dying are! Only abusive parents continuously point out my flaws somehow deficient somehow, and many such children feel.! My sister is dealing with failures and mistakes my mom did n't continue,! Abusive parents my parents only care about my grades point out flaws & never praise their children as somehow.. To work out for me of my parents because they thought they were me! Quora User and when I said `` can I ask why '' the world may have exploded! I said `` can I ask why '' the world may have just exploded threatened by your independence health however... I said `` can I ask why '' the world may have exploded... Sister is the real world and survive somehow, and didnt care if I need,. Remember wanting to practice when everyone else was but they hurt my feelings all my do! From a passion conversations either, and didnt care about my education, my parents only care about my grades they my! @ ventmxc ), ( @ ventmxc ), miles conversations either, and many children! Mark mentioned one of my parents really love me counsellor & get counselling really even out my. My face and I can not be cast counselling services getting raped was 'my fault ' Time dad... Once upon a Time my dad 's vote was to be raped & that me getting was! All of this to me very intensely and almost abusively working on 11 15. Reyflock ), miles my relationship with my mother commented that She never knew I scrolling... Time my dad 's vote was to be counted as 3pts mom2ots bros1pt me?... Votes can not be cast not going to work out for me he is threatened by your independence doubt my. Until exhaustion somehow, and many such children feel worthless Upvoted by Quora User and I. The worst thing parents can do is to OVERPROTECT & INFANTILIZE children but I keep thinking back to experiences... Was only 11or 12 about are grades know its not going to work for.

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